I\’m jus\’ sayin\’

May 19, 2008

Ode to

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 12:17 am

I looked at all my lumps
Arrayed in glorious view
They rippled and jiggled and bounced around
It was time for all things new.

My family and friends, they told me
They love me just the same
But it’d sure be easier to hug me
If my lumps, I didn’t maintain

They jiggled when I laughed
And wiggled when I walked
They strained against my best outfits
Made my stomach look like it talked!

So I went to visit the gym
Find out all the things I could do
Signed a contract, found a trainer
Told “Hey girl, it’s up to you!”

I attended all the classes
Danced and jumped and ran and panted
With stocky-kiga-build to avoid
Streches and yoga classes I opted.

Pulled out the mat on which I’d stand
Smiled at my classmates nice and wide
Saw them stretch from the corner of my eye
Started stretching too! Yeah it’s pride!

The class began so did my pain
Each muscle straining to perform
The lumpy dumpy image in the mirror
Was ready to transform.

As we rose to greet the sun
My spine whispered up to me
Hey go easy on me buddy
I’ll stretch out, just wait and see.

Downward facing dog
Oh the horror of this move
My ass stretching out to the sky
My neighbor trying to disapprove.

With our legs stretched out in front
We were asked to touch our toes
Bend our back and keep them straight!
Let us make this energy flow!

As my muscles bent and twisted
And my mind transcended body
Blood coursing through my system
My performance wasn’t shoddy.

I retired to my home
Bent and twisted, totally broken
But the triumph in my heart
Joy and happiness was spoken.

I’ve decided I’d return
To the scene of my embarrassment
Get my ligaments and tendons
To enjoy the yoga movements!

Wanna come?



  1. After about three weeks of steady work-outs, you’ll want to feel the pain again, but your body will have taken it in stride, and it will be normal to work out that you won’t feel no pain.
    Keep at it, if you want to.

    Although, for personal (even secret) reasons, I hope not everybody in the world works out. 😉

    Comment by The 27th Comrade — May 19, 2008 @ 6:24 am | Reply

  2. No thanks, lol. Have started gyming too many times, always end after 2 days. too much stress. Prefer a good game of ball. Nice poem though, very nice.

    Comment by The Dark Knight — May 19, 2008 @ 5:14 pm | Reply

  3. GASP! 27th are you a chubby chaser?!

    End after 2 days?! I guess it’s the whole male posturing, huh?

    Comment by imnxtac — May 19, 2008 @ 7:18 pm | Reply

  4. Nice poem, nice illustrations (you drew them?) and nice way to put this whole problem into perspective.
    It’s true though that the first time is the worst, after that it gets better. (WARNING: I have totally no experience of my own)

    Comment by Minty — May 20, 2008 @ 11:30 am | Reply

  5. Yes please. Is it too late to join you? But my stretching is for totally different reasons if you catch my drift 😉

    Comment by Carlo — June 26, 2008 @ 8:57 am | Reply

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