I\’m jus\’ sayin\’

February 29, 2008

Takin’ it to the streets!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 5:51 am

Got attacked by one of these guys.

Kind of a bad thing when you’re trying to check out a new city!

Rachel, I’ll have pix for you in a min!

Sawa. I’m going to put my poor achy congested head on my pillow (humming Alicia Keys’ Lay your head on my pillow) and wait for my adventure to start in the morning!

Hurrah for new beginnings!

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February 21, 2008

What I like about you

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 1:54 am

I used to think about marriage. It was so depressing because I believed every one of the points below. Then I met someone who contradicts everything that I was expected to believe about romantic relationships.

I guess this is to encourage the girls out there who are still waiting for love to come knocking on their door. I can’t say it’s going to look like my dream-come-true but hopefully it will be something that reminds you that you deserve to get what you want out of life.

I’m using the 10 things men hate about women from our beloved New Vision.

NO doubt that men heartily love women. However, there are 10 basic things about women that irritate men.

-Men do not like women who pretend. Men believe that women should stay themselves and give up every attempt to seem better.

Every day I’m encouraged to be better than I am. Our motto is that if we strive for excellence it will come to us. It doesn’t mean that we are pretending. We take care to speak clearly, use new vocabulary, educate ourselves, etc.
-Men hate it when their women criticise other females. It is a proven fact that women often treat other women as rivals. But remember that a woman will gain no popularity with men if she continuously criticises other women’s dresses, shoes and handbags and also their compatibility with each other.

The fabulous thing about my partner  in life is that he understands women at their core and he is able to recognize wickedness. Often times he’ll warn me about some women I make friends with because he sees their black hearts.

-Women’s jealousy exasperates men. Jealousy can break even the strongest relationship. It shows that one partner does not trust another or feels insecure. Trust is the basis of a strong relationship.

A little jealousy is always helpful in making one of the partners keep their game tight. You have to keep on your toes if you understand that at anytime a woman/man whose game is tighter than yours can come onto the scene and sweep your partner away!

-Men do not like to be treated as an emotional support. They get irritated when women always demand caresses and hugs, when they want to be treated special.

My Dad gives warm hugs every time I need one. Even in the company of others if I sidle up to him and put my arms around his waist, he’ll continue his conversation, but make sure he hugs me back. My brothers are the same way. They’re more huggy than my sisters are! LOL! So of course I expect to be cuddled and hugged for extensive periods of time and you know what? I don’t ever have to ask for a hug. I get them all the time because he knows I like them.

-It is no good for women to employ the speech code in relations with men. When women employ the ‘What are you thinking about?’ speech code they thus hope to pump real feelings and emotions out of men. When a woman asks a man this sort of vague questions she expects to catch him unawares and learn what his feelings toward her are.

He likes those kinds of questions because he knows I’m not trying to trick him and it always generates interesting conversations. Sometimes he’s not thinking about anything at all, to which we laugh and I tell him what I’m thinking. It’s the kind of question that generates conversation which is what people look for in each other.

-Some women want all the spare time of their men to be devoted to them only. This is some sort of interference with men’s privacy. At the worst, women start spying on their men, asking relatives and close friends what their men are doing. They also ransack men’s pockets and desk drawers in search of some evidence. Women must not behave like proprietresses.

He has never made me feel like he does not want to be around me. We enjoy his activities together. We enjoy my activities together. When we have spare time, we’re enjoying it together. It’s not because we’re trying to monitor the other person’s movements, but we love being with each other and sharing life. Otherwise there is no reason to be together. Might as well be friends with benefits.

-Women’s emotionality makes men absolutely mad. Unlike women, men are sure that broken nails or touching films are not a trouble at all. Males do not love it when their partners burst into tears or fly into a rage on every trifle occasion.

No one is delighted with another person’s tears, that is crazy. My partner understands that touching ads make me tear  up. He understands that someone else crying about something makes me cry, he understands that when I’m ecstatically happy (yes, even that!) I cry. He’s okay with it because he knows me.

-It is universally known that men hate women’s never-ending shopping. Men generally believe that 24 hours in a day are not enough for women to enjoy shopping, to have an opportunity to touch and try on everything they find. Men find it the most terrible ordeal when women insist they accompany them during shopping.

Women never stop shopping?! Damn! Where have I been? I get so turned on when he’s picking out fresh veggies and talking to me about the next exciting dinner he’s going to make. When we went to pick out stuff for our space it was so exciting and special because he got to pick his own shit! I picked my own shit! We’re as happy as pigs in shit! LOL!

-Women’s talkativeness irritates men. A women’s brain easily conceives every minute detail while men do not like to listen to trivial details.

Huh? What the fuck does that mean? Of course men love trivia. They know all the minute details of sports personalities and details of cars they like. My man. Every detail of an interesting story is essential to it’s telling. He’ll make me tell it over and over again! 

-Women have a sure leverage to demonstrate their superiority over men. This is sex which is the most powerful weapon in the war between males and females. Women deprive their men of sex in an attempt to punish them. But this may, in some cases, have lamentable consequences for women.

I have nothing to say about this one. My sister reads my blog! 🙂 I will say nobody gets punished at our house for any reason whatsoever. 

February 20, 2008

Suicide

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 10:43 pm

TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Book: Lord of the Rings
Tongue ring: Secure. Still want  an acrylic one

Today I watched The Bridge and all I can say is wow.

Once in 2003 I experienced my first real heartbreak and I literally felt a soreness in my chest and after driving around for a while I came to a set of rail road tracks and sat there for a minute. I thought all about the people who had chosen to end their misery by sitting on tracks while a train was coming. I didn’t want to end my own, but I needed something to take care of the ache I felt.

In watching this documentary I felt such empathy for these people who didn’t feel that there was any solution to their problems. Their family members talked about them and the camera guys talked about the experience of watching a person take their own life.

It was horrific and beautiful, some of them struggled with the decision as they balanced on the ledge, like the girl shown in the picture, giving another person the chance to grab onto them and pull them to safety. Others made sure no one was watching them and then suddenly climbed over the barrier and jumped into the water. All that people would be left with is the sickening sound of a body splashing into the water.

There was the story of one guy that was followed from the beginning and it ended with him suddenly standing on the rail and falling backwards into the water which he hit head-first. He’d suffered heartbreak from a relationship he had been pursuing and he’d stacked all his hopes on it. It was over – the girl was probably a barracuda of sorts and didn’t realize how fragile this man was. He had difficulty finding work and the morning he jumped he’d been offered a management position. It was just heart breaking.

I’m still reeling.

February 19, 2008

The Aquarium

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 6:33 pm

I went to the Aquarium took some pictures. Made some videos!

Enjoy!

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Fish of the coral reef are so colorful and exciting! You can’t really see the fish because of the flash 😦 but there was a red line right below the blue that made the blue stand out!

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There were some amazing looking turtles. There was one that looked like a dinosaur it looked dead! There was another with a smooth shell and it was more active.

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And the rays were interesting to say the least!

Here are a couple of video’s I took!

The ray looked interesting! I’ve seen some people who look like this!

These are some beluga whales! They swam in circles and as you can see the babies kept close by. The largest male was about 1900 pounds and with unlimited food they can grow to be 3000 pounds. The babies are grey and will be white eventually.

The colors are so vibrant!

Remember the fish that chased Patrick and Spongebob in the movie?

Chicago

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 5:22 pm

I’m in Chi Town and I’m having an interesting time.

I went to the Auto Show. Saw some cars. Sat in some. Liked some of the concept cars! Check them out!

Lots of pictures! Wait for them to load if you can!

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It seems that the doors from “Back to the Future” are back!

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The interior is bare only coz it’s a concept car, but I like it’s simple design.

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I love this Jeep! One of my little friends, Yasmeen, loves Jeeps in general. I’m not such a great fan, but this seems like the kind of car I’d drive!

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Say it with me… “ooooooo nayees”

Now when I have kids, I’m going to drive this baby!

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I love the way the windows are all around. Of course I’ll have them tinted because my babies are going to be so beautiful people will go blind! 🙂

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The rear view mirrors took my breath away!

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The chairs swivel! There is an inbuilt camera so you can watch the children in the back and lots of floor room like chairs in a room.

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This is the monster I chose to pose beside. Vrrooooom Vrroooom!

February 8, 2008

Oprah’s Suggestion

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 6:57 am
Tags:

Oprah is not my favorite person in the world and tends to interrupt the people she’s interviewing with her own unrelated experiences. For example, she had Bill Cosby on her show and he was talking about the re-education of black people in America. She really could have done so much more with his message but because she’s a know-it-all we couldn’t hear what his thoughts were. A waste!

Yesterday she had a number of authors on her show who believe that as human beings we have the ability to attract good things to ourselves by thinking positively and using positive affirmations. Louise Hay wrote The Secret where she says,

“I thought it’s great. It’s going to go to lots of people who don’t know anything about this. The metaphysical people already know this, but we don’t use it for things, we use it to improve the quality of our lives.”

Louise says that whatever you put into the universe—be it good or bad—will come back to you.

“It’s almost as though the universe is listening to everything you say and everything you think and saying, ‘Oh, that’s what they want.’ But most of the time we’re talking very negatively about ourselves,” she says. “How can the universe bring you anything good if that’s the way you’re talking? That’s why I like to teach people to love themselves, just to love and adore who you are.”

It seems almost too good to be true until you realize something.  This can be logically explained.

If you speak positively about a situation or about yourself, you will tend to seek out the positive opportunities that present themselves in order to obtain the desired goal.

What I’m willing to explore is something one of them said. I can’t find the exact quote, but here is the general idea. Matter is created because energy holds particles together. Positive energy arising from positive thoughts sent out into the universe (I know, don’t roll your eyes yet) can create that matter which your heart desires.

The reason I believe this in part is that if one looks closely at some of the most powerful people in history, one quickly realizes that these characters did not believe themselves incapable of anything at all! They are egotistical megalomaniacs and they believe that they are special and everything they do is geared towards the acquisition of greater things, be it knowledge, property or spiritual elevation.

I’m going to try it for a little bit and see what happens. It means I have to make a visual board. I’m on it Captain Universe! Now make my shit!

February 2, 2008

New Vision with no strong feelings about rape

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 4:05 am

It is with utter shame and disgust that I denounce the Women’s Vision of the New Vision. I happened upon a discussion that I have pasted below.

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Dear Counsellor,
I am 34 years and my husband is 38. I recently discovered my husband has been cheating on me with a girl I take as my daughter. I had a fiancé who died in an accident in 2002 but because he had a daughter whom we were staying with at that time, I took her over as she had nowhere to go. She was in S.1 then. I got this other man in late 2004 and we agreed to stay together. I told him all about this girl and requested him to take her as his daughter. To my surprise, I learnt recently that my husband has been having sex with this girl since early 2006. When I questioned her, she told me she feared to tell me because I would send her away before she attended her S.5 and S.6. Recently when he asked her to have sex, the girl felt enough was enough and decided to tell one of my sisters. When I asked the man about it, he insisted he has never done it and that he should never see this girl in our home again. What can I do? I feel like killing myself because of shame. Can I divorce this man? Can I still keep this girl? Please help.
G.K

Dear G.K
You seem so deeply hurt and in need of making drastic decisions but you are not sure whether they are the right ones. Drastic decisions without thinking deeply of the consequences may seem rewarding in the beginning, but in reality they are disastrous.
However, do not to despair; it is not yet a hopeless situation. Something can be done but you need to gather up strength to face the situation at hand. It may bring you shame and devastation but you need to know it is not an easy battle to fight. There is no easier way to deal with it than to face it.
You need to realise that three key areas are at stake here: your relationship with your husband, the life of your daughter and the emotional torture you have to endure.
Your decision on what to do will largely depend on whether you feel you still have a chance of a relationship with your husband. Do you still want to continue with him? It may be hard to have an immediate answer to this but you need to take a definite action.
There are three things you may have to think through:
l There may still be a chance for dialogue. However, it takes a lot of patience as it might not yield much immediately, especially if the two of you are still emotionally strained. It may be wise to seek the help of a third party. This could be a professional counsellor who will help you think through these issues before you make a decision. You are likely to find that there is more to this conflict than the extra-marital affair.
l Divorce is a permanent issue and it is legally binding. Once the decision has been made in court, it cannot be reversed. If you feel you cannot continue, you need to brace yourself for court. In this case you may also need to file a case for defilement because your daughter has been abused — that is if she is below the age of 18. In most cases, especially if a child is defiled, they are manipulated and intimidated by the defiler and if they are not empowered, they cannot speak out easily. You can resort to this option if dialogue has completely failed.
l Another option would be separation. This is more temporary and it gives you time to reorganise yourself and think through the events. It can also be the time within which you can have a dialogue. In the meantime, it may not be wise to keep this girl in the house as this may worsen the conflict. You may need to find a safer place for her and let her know that this is in her best interest since her life is endangered.
Do not lose hope; you can go through this successfully.

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What the fuck?!

I had to calm myself down after I read this. What kind of society have we become? What kind of place are we making to raise our children in? How can this response be acceptable in any way?  Why do women treat each other so poorly? This young girl has been hurt. Of course we’re not addressing her issues, but that should automatically become the focus.

Did I get this wrong or didn’t this woman just say that a young girl/woman in her care was being raped repeatedly by her husband? Didn’t she say that the rape of this minor in her house has been going on for 2 years? Did she not also say that this young woman was in her care and that she had no one to turn to and nowhere to go after her father died?

So, why does the New Vision advise the woman to “work things out” with this rapist? Why does she advise her to send the girl away so she can work things out with her husband?

Just for the record, my Mother would have made minced meat of anyone who even looked at me suspiciously.

Our national newspaper advises women everywhere to mistrust the word of another woman who has been raped and instead side with the offender by attempting to restore some kind of relationship with him. Are there no decent men left in Uganda? Then why advise this woman to patch things over with her rapist husband?

I’m so confused and hurt and annoyed at the advice this two bit counselor is giving this woman. Marriage isn’t the be-all end-all of a woman’s existence. And rape is real, it is the greatest invasion  and the worst possible way that one person can exert their power over another human being. It is degrading. It is the tool used to disenfranchise a people. The English did it to the Scots, the Americans did it to the slaves they took, today in war zones that is what soldiers do to the women.

Ah, New Vision… I despise your women’s section.

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