I\’m jus\’ sayin\’

November 28, 2007

The Show

Filed under: Uncategorized — Bwandungi @ 5:23 am

rulesTears unshed ready to explode in a place where you think you are safe . Be careful it might be called a show. Expressing the thoughts of your heart and just being you is called a show. Your wounds, hurts and imperfections are seen by others as festering, rotting sores that are in dire need of cleaning. The tears that would clean them – that would bring healing are not allowed to flow. Instead bandages are presented so they don’t have to watch “your show.” Will you ever be able to express true feeling? A show?I will tell you what I do. I hide, act, put on a face. This is the real show. Those who are looking, satisfied that I have been put in my proper place in their cramped little worlds, ecstatic that THEY discovered my niche. The mask I wear hides the turmoil on the inside… so I can be safe… so I can be free… and have peace… be me.

Behind the thick velvet curtain the cacophony of the audience is muffled out. Somehow, somewhere you begin to hear the noise of the audience as they demand to watch the show they are directing so they can praise themselves and pat each other on the backs. Their screams reach a fevering pitch, they will not be held back. You put the mask on and give the signal. The curtain is raised and the real show begins.

Dazzling lights! Fancy speech! Give the audience what they want, what they believe they have paid for. Push your tears and sorrows aside, dance and sing! Sing till your throat is sore and your vocal cords break and bleed. Dance till your feet scream out in agony and the blisters burst and tear, reopening old wounds. Bid everyone adieu and ask them to come back!

The curtain falls back into place. Protecting you and your thoughts allowing you to think in peace. The silence is soothing, but don’t let down your guard too long. They will be back. Like bloodhounds they will hunt you down unless you satisfy their thirst for your lifeblood. They threaten the very thing they know you desire with all your heart every time you don’t dance or sing the tune they want to hear and watch.

And yet, I will be free. Not today, but someday, not too far away.

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2 Comments »

  1. Beautifully written. Beautiful.

    Comment by tumwijuke — November 29, 2007 @ 1:26 pm | Reply

  2. cheesin’

    Thank you!

    Comment by imnxtac — November 30, 2007 @ 12:47 am | Reply


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